This question have been asked a lot lately.
"Is she your only child?"
Whether we are in a doctor office, have people over for an evaluation, at the emergency room giving all my daughter medical history and showing them I know it all by heart, or while we are doing something concerning Naylah this question always comes up.
What does that even mean?
Does it make the situation better if she is not my only one?
Or will you feel bad for us if she does happen to be my only child?
Is it because I don't get to enjoy "what is normal according to what society believes is normal"?
"Yes, she is my only child."
My first, my miracle baby.
Then often the replies goes as;
"She is beautiful, or I bet she keeps you busy, or do you plan on having another?"
What does that mean?
Is it because she has her differences? Is it because We are always busy between therapies and doctors appointments that you ask?
Is it because you always see the two of us hanging in the medical world instead of being out enjoying the summer and making great family plans?
Or Is it because I am missing something In my life that this question comes up?
"Is she your only child?"
I know the things I might be missing out.
Her little voice. Hearing her talk. Listening to 3 years old funny stories. I know I'm missing out on hearing I love you. Her calling my name and telling me all about her day and what's bothering her.
I know I'm missing out on milestones she should of mastered by now, such as potty training, eating on her own, drawing me pictures, trying to dress up on her own, play dates and be able to sleep in a bed instead of a crib. I know all that. Sure this list can go on.
But there is something bigger.
Even without words I know her love for me is bigger than the universe. In Her own little way she tells me what she wants. She is trying very hard to do things on her own. Recently she started pointing to things she wanted. Yes by age of 3 she should of mastered that long ago, but she achieved it on her own time frame. She knows how to shut off the water faucet. She is closing doors like a pro. 6 months ago she took her very first steps when for the longest some specialists thought she might not have mastered that.
She is still behind in a lot, I give you that.
Of course I wish things were different. Not for me tho but for her because it's harder for her to get to do things that to other kids come naturally.
Does it stop her from trying? Certainly not. She pays attention to all we do, and try hard to copy it.
She makes the same movement as her daddy does when he put lotion on. When we are talking she tries hard to make those sounds come out, when I'm doing something she comes close to me and watch. Her curiosity for learning does not stop her because of her disabilities.
She watches closely all that other children are doing.
I don't know what that question means honestly, and I am not brave enough to confront you and ask why.
She is my only child, but that doesn't make me less proud of her.
I know exactly what she wants by her behavior, we communicate differently. We have learned that with time. Sometimes I forget she doesn't talk because we figured something out. Something you can't understand. It's magical.
So if the question "is she your only child?" Because you are feeling bad for us.
I wouldn't trade for nothing in this world what we have. The bond we created, our body language to communicate. Our way of talking without any words needed. The love that she brings me.
Yes she is my only child and I am proud that she is my daughter.