Yesterday, I decided to take Naylah and Alex ( Naylah big brother)to thinkery children museum with a friend and her stepson. I wasn't sure what was all there for her. But decided to give it a try. Came to find out their whole upstairs is for babies and toddlers. Perfect just what we needed. We get there Naylah is not feeling safe, and wants me by her. Doesn't try to crawl around until she sees a little boy. She is fascinated by babies, she gets sooo excited around them. Even tho she is about to be two she is about the size of a 9-12 months old. So often people think that's her age.
The parents of that little boy were amaze of how social Naylah was and how much she wanted to play.
And of course parents being parents, we are always curious about how old your child is , so we can compare what they can't and can do. So you can brag about oh my child started doing this at that age, or oh he is not doing that yet.
This time there wasn't no comparison needed.
Woman: how old is your little one? Ours just turned one.
Me : she is 22 months old.
Let me say, I'm always amazed by the reaction . She kind of gave that big eye look and politely continue admiring her child still wondering what was wrong with her. When you look at Naylah she looks totally like any ordinary child.
She didn't bother to ask, even tho she wanted to, so I left it alone. I would of gladly told her.
After that with my friend and the kids we decided to go to Hula Hut for lunch. Beautiful day. Naylah was all excited about being outdoors. We enjoyed a drink on the patio while waiting for our table to be ready.
We sit down. Order our food the waitress brings a basket of chips and salsa. While our friend and I were talking, Naylah get a hold of the salsa and poured all over her. ( the salsa at hula hut is hot) rushed to the bathroom while my friend cleans up the mess,and let the waitress know about the incident. Going to the batroom huge line, so I change Naylah into a different onesis by the bathroom door, Someone asked if I needed helped I said that I was good and thank her.
We went back to the table. Naylah was sooo excited about the meal we ordered and was actually wanting to eat it, she kept signing for more.
Of course most of it was on the floor rather than her mouth but she was eating. Most of you probably don't know how much of an accomplishment this was for me, for her, for us. Being a tube fed kiddo even the smallest of the meals no matter how much the mess is, it's a huge victory. We finished eating, pay for our meal, try to grab as much as we could from the table to appear a little more clean. My friend and the kids walks out. As I was ready to grab Naylah, the woman accross the table shouts "nasty". It took me a second to realize she was talking to me. So I turned around and said "excuse me?"
She then said, "all that is nasty".
I grab Naylah and give her a hug. I look at the table yes it was still a mess, she doesn't walk in my shoes I get that. She doesn't know how much of an accomplishment this was. She doesn't know our story and where we come from. To her I was just probably a careless mother, who isn't teaching her kid to eat properly, that allows her to eat however she wants, and do whatever.
To her I was probably a bad example of a parent, To her I was doing it all wrong.
And for a second, while leaving the place I wish I knew exactly what to tell her. I hesitated, I almost wanted to go to her table litft Naylah shirt up and be like " she is mostly tube fed, anything she gets in her mouth even if most of it is everywhere, it's one step closer to get rid of this tube, because it gives us hope that one day she won't need this to grow, to gain weight, to look healthy, because if it wasn't for that tube she probably wouldn't have the energy to play around"
I just wish I knew what was the appropriate thing to say. Instead I grab my baby with pride and left, with a nod in my stomach tho.
To the lady at hula hut, don't judge people so easily first of all she is a child, as far as you know from example of a healthy child she is about 9-12 months in your eyes. At that age they still don't eat like us adults. They play with food. I did exactly what I was suppose to do. I am not going to let my child not cross a big millstone because you were giving me a bad look. This was a huge day. We were so proud. Next time don't judge people so quickly. I am not a bad mother. I spend my day with my child. I am a mother and along with all that I bacame a nurse, therapist, agenda keeper . I didn't know I was going to be all this, but in a way I am glad I did because I ve learned to not judge people and you should too.